All posts by nasasiraclare

#DressingWhileDisabled

The shoes.
There are two stories I could tell you.

One: I’m clinging to my roommate’s arm, trying to (re)learn how to walk in heels.

Two: a friend sent me a pair of shoes.

One: I wore heels, once. I was in a choir, a choir that was a Really Big Deal, and the high school girls had to wear character shoes. I got the lowest possible heel, and I was okay, mostly.

I liked how they sounded on the floor, so sometimes I wore them in college, or to DD council meetings, or when I went to Washington. I think they had maybe a half-inch heel.

I lost my character shoes in the move. Two years went by. I tore all the muscles in my left ankle, every last one, and I couldn’t go to physical therapy.

I put on a new pair of heels, and I knew, instantly that…


Just Stimming...

The shoes.
There are two stories I could tell you.

One: I’m clinging to my roommate’s arm, trying to (re)learn how to walk in heels.

Two: a friend sent me a pair of shoes.

*****

One: I wore heels, once. I was in a choir, a choir that was a Really Big Deal, and the high school girls had to wear character shoes. I got the lowest possible heel, and I was okay, mostly.

I liked how they sounded on the floor, so sometimes I wore them in college, or to DD council meetings, or when I went to Washington. I think they had maybe a half-inch heel.

I lost my character shoes in the move. Two years went by. I tore all the muscles in my left ankle, every last one, and I couldn’t go to physical therapy.

I put on a new pair of heels, and I knew, instantly that…

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Tin Can Call: A Sestina

this translation

The summer I turned sixteen, I learned
the burning that happens when contact
is made: flesh and mouths, a new kind of touch.
Kids really, trying to smash ourselves together,
atoms mingling, heeding the old call
looking for The Other who would hear—

The low buzzing we made, like bees, hear
not just our desires but everything we’d learned
about desire—that birth is a call
to the universe; from conception we have contact.
We only survive when we are together.
We learn from being touched what it is to touch.

Hands, eyes, lips, hearts, touch
and understand. Without speaking, we hear:
all that our ancestors have learned
to cultivate society, not just sex as contact
but contact that issues forth the greater call.

String stretched taut, tin can call:
We twin sisters sleep at night, while parents forget to touch.
The line is in place, but loss of contact,
not…

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Cycles of Dieting

sometypeofartist

I don’t like my body.

diet01

I’ve always been overweight, and I don’t expect myself to ever reach the hot, buff levels society expects me to be at if I’m to be considered an “attractive” person, but I would like to lose my gut. Over the past year or two, I can really start to feel it weighing me down. It’s getting harder for me to bend over. It’s getting harder for me to move around at work. Hell, it’s getting harder for me to just breathe. I already have enough weighing me down in my own head; the added weight of my stomach isn’t needed.

Dieting is something I feel like I’m continuously on and off with. I always start off the same way. I make a conscious decision that I’m going to start exercising more, eat less, and eat healthy.

diet02

I start using the elliptical machine every day or…

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Best Worst Year: Episode 83 (Or, Heal)

Sundog Blog

You read a poor Tagalog translation of handwritten prayers on your mother’s dresser. Your cousin has mistaken aswang for multo. Even you–whose native tongue died in his mouth years ago–knows the difference. Aswang is an evil spirit. A Filipino vampire. A dog. Something wicked. Your cousin has been looking to redefine herself at college. Away from the vanilla-colored hallways and powder-burned lockers of affluent homogenization, now the pale Pinay recessive genetics have a second name and second life in the stadium-seated lecture halls of state colleges. She eats rice without utensils, wants to go to Manila, asks her ate and kuya about jeepneys and sari sari stores. Her younger brother obsesses over XBox and the Nets game on TNT. You clean rice in the kitchen–rinse by hand three times. Cold water. You feel it in your knuckles. It’s snowing only enough to be nuisance.

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Take Heart

junk

by Mari Casey

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The most difficult part of my recovery today, the most terrifying prospect in my life is not related to an urge to use or a potential relapse. It’s about dating. I’m twenty-six and single—a fun idea, right?—except I have four years clean, and just the thought of going on a date turns me catatonic. They recommend a year without sex when you first get clean. I didn’t do it then, but I might get it now, and not for lack of desire.

In my life, there are two major categories of potential suitors: people “in the rooms”— recovering addicts at the meetings—or “normies”—those strange creatures who can drink just one beer, maybe even hit one joint every now and again, normal people. I’ve dated in the rooms before. Pros: mutual understanding, shared experience, easy to meet. Cons: dating someone as sick as you are, and the whole…

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A HAPPY MINDSET

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Every one wishes and would like to live a stress free kind of life. In this case, each one of us wants to be happy, free from problems, sorrows, heartbreaks, name it. Though it is not always the case, it is always advisable to do what you think will bring you joy, happiness, laughter no matter the consequences as long as you are benefiting more than you are losing. Having a happy mindset is being in a situation where one has got to realize the power of positive thinking rather than being pessimistic time and again. One scalar once said that “Don’t allow negative thinking because negative things have nothing to contribute to your thinking”. In this regard, being positive in all situations no matter what yields a positive attitude which in turn yields good products though it might always be case.

A happy mind set involves being at good terms with oneself and everyone around you. Here one has got to accept who they are, love and appreciate themselves and others at large. Love what you have and do not wish you had better or more because you need to understand that everything happens for a reason whether positive or negative. Talking to friends, making yourself busy and occupied with work (let it be office or house work) all the time makes one to forget all the sorrow, problems hence creating a happy mindset. A person needs to realize the potential in them so as to be happy. Doing a lot of physical exercises, eating a balanced deity, giving oneself to God leads to rightful living, creates a peace of mind, enhances good body and soul building hence providing a happy mindset.

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Having a happy family, enjoying a happy relationship with your loved ones ensures good emotional appeal, good psychological growth and better body growing patterns. In this case, one is not distressed by anything, not on loggerheads with any one therefore enjoying life the way he or she should which in turn provides a happy and stress-free life. Life is too short to be wasted, trying to find someone to hurt you, separate you from the rest of the population and leave you all alone therefore one should always take advantage of every single minute that one gets to be happy, smile and find something enjoyable to engage in.

 

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